The Flinstones, Meet the Flintstones, a modern Stone Age Family....

*The lights dim and the crowd goes into their pre-performance hush, a few small coughs come from the back row as the standard banter gives way to the hushed tones preceeding the performance.

A well dressed figure walks from the side of the stage to the podium with a stack of papers in his hand. The papers look slightly dishevelled and unkempt which is in contrast to the surroundings and the person holding them.

When he reaches the podium, he sets the papers down and takes a sip of water. He looks at the crowd as they grow silent. The crowd looks expectantly as he adjusts his glasses and coughs softly to clear his throat. The speech is mostly outline. The bulk comes from his mind so concentration is important. He over looks the crowd once more picking out the friendly faces he can key in to gauge the audience, picks up the little remote control for his prepared slides and begins to speak*

Hey y'all.

Ok.. So I can't pull of a southern accent (nor would I try).

This little entry is about my family. I've never written specifically of them and I am sure after this, I will have to change my name (any suggestions?... any CLEAN suggestions?) So let us begin shall we?

The main people in my family. My Parents (mother and father), my Sister and yours truly. There are are numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, nephews, nieces, great uncles, great aunts, not-so-great uncles and aunts. (The list is long, extensive, and not the subject for this entry. If you want to know more, please send $10.00 USD to me. ($55.00 if you want addresses too))

My parents:
They are an interesting study in contrasts. Both are mirrors and composites for each other.

  • Where my father is strong my mother is weak.
  • Where my mother is direct and blunt (sometimes to a fault) my father is diplomatic and sometimes evasive (again sometimes to a fault).
  • Where my father is furious my mother is calm (shocking, I know)
  • Where my mother is the sheath (comforting, enveloping, protecting), my father is the sword (direct, powerful, serene)
  • Where my father is knowledgeable and knowing, my mother is intuitive and cunning.
  • Where my mother is savvy and wise, my father is playful.
  • Where my father has a dry wit, my mother is more conventional in her humour.
  • Where my mother is fearful and trepidatious my father is fearless and bold.
  • Where my father enjoys actual travel, my mother enjoys the concept of travel.

To say they work well together and go together is a bit like saying "Rice and Beans are good together" or "Rice and Pickles makes a dandy dish" (or any other combo you can think of). Your immediate impression once you know them is "Well, DUH!!!" They seem to get the job done. My formidable and formative dynamic Duo (Batman and Robin has nothing on these two) .

Between these two pillars, I've learned much about the world; both its dark places and its light. They are my staunchest allies, my harshest critics, my most insightful mentors, and my most cherished friends. They have been both my anchor and my motor. Not to say it was all sunshine and roses (well, in my case, cheap computer parts and free airfare, but you get the idea), but for all the bad times (some I am reluctant to admit were my own doing, HAPPY? I admit it ok? Yes, I put the water in the oil tank... The rest of it was not me. Is it my fault that everyone that can corroborate the stories about me are either missing or dead?) There were far more memorable times.

I value them greatly and look to them as my models for what I can be, what my family life can be, and what I can accomplish with the right foundation.

My sister
She and I are reflections of our parents and are composites and mirrors of each other as well. There are times when if I said "black" I'll give you 10:1 odds on any amount of money you care to name that she will say "white" (unfortunately I never won this bet, no one would take me up on it... we're siblings not telepathic)

I have the utmost respect for her and what she has accomplished and will yet accomplish in her life and in some ways I am a little envious. I think she would say the same about me in someway. (A little sibling rivalry... it makes life fun).

When younger, she was the shy one and I was the outgoing one (yes it’s true; I was the extrovert as a child). As we grew up, she became the extrovert (a la mother) and I became the introvert (a la my father). Time has settled us with a halfway point for us. (She being a cautious extrovert and I being a introvert with extrovert like tendencies)

She is very adaptable and capable woman, gifted in linguistics (meaning the subtleties of language) and seems to understand the core of people intuitively. (VERY envious of this, I could take over the world if I had that power, but she has little interest for world domination... the pay is great, but the stress... Oy'vey.)

She is most similar to my mother in personality, temperament (thankfully she also has a healthy dose of my father's calm), and perspective. Both share similar abilities and strengths (which as you might expect, has pros and cons)You know that thing you hate about yourself.... what happens when you deal with someone who has the exact same trait?... and its your mother/daughter?... think on it, I'll come back)

I don't often write about her because she is my sister and my writing cuts a little too quick to the bone at times (and the fact that she has an uncanny ability to track people down means my life wouldn't be worth a fiat dollar if I said the wrong thing . I think she is in the wrong business, she needs to be a counter-intelligence spy or a bounty hunter), but she keeps me grounded to reality and helps me to gain perspective and understanding (and quite a large amount of patience... I repeat, we are SIBLINGS. The fact that we have both survived without killing each other ("that which does not kill you makes you stronger"), or destroying a house (though there was that one time... err.. nevermind) is a testimony to my our abilities, my parents, and lots and lots of Valium and the fine people at Sears and Pergaments *Sam, you did a great job on that roof and the windows in 79, 83, 87, and 89. Mary, we hardly knew you, but those bars on the doors... EXCELLENT job and almost impervious to acetylene torches. Mr. Fitzgerald, sorry about the noise and about those rocks. Mark, the shockgards were top notch amigo, and Judge Hernandez, Thanks for understanding that siblings will be siblings* What?.. This never happened to you?

Well, what can I say that has not already been said? To know me is to know my family. (Scared aren't you?) We are jokesters, kidders, we can be your best ally, your fiercest supporter, or your most dangerous enemy (Let "poison Pen Sally" (i.e.: my sister) have a whack at them, they will be so distraught that only strong will stay; the weak will crawl away and seek someplace dark to live out their days). As my sister leans more towards my mother in abilities, temperament, and personality, I lean more towards my father. Similar reading materials, similar hobbies, same dark and somewhat quirky sense of humour, similar interests. He has been my father, my tutor, my mentor, and my blood brother. Mother always did claim I beat her poor stomach as an infant (in the womb) but that my father's hand would calm me down. And to some extent this is true. I am most alike to our father as my sister is most alike to our mother.

My family I would not trade for all the tea in India. Now the computer parts in Taiwan? umm.. no.. no.. Really?.. all of it? Umm.. no.. no.

Where else can you be praised, chastised, beaten and kissed, loved, and hated, engage in a battle of witty remarks and sly comebacks and also be reminded "if you ever...." than one's own family. They are secret club I am glad to be part of. (I’ll sell you the secret handshake for those parts in Taiwan) They are the comedy club that I have a backstage pass to.

For all the good and bad, they are my best friends and my comfort.
No? What about just half of the parts in Taiwan? come on, I won't tell.
Oh damn

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